Unwelcome News

I know that for those of you struggling with infertility, miscarriage or infant loss; news like ours can stir up a lot of emotions. 

Grief.

Hope.

Envy.

Joy.

Anger.

Regret.

I've experienced all of these feelings when friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers announced their pregnancies.

I wish I hadn't spent so many years suffering in silence and (mostly) alone.

Only those closest to Michael and me knew we'd been trying to have children for years when we started telling everyone we knew we were trying to adopt. The only reason we told everyone we were trying to adopt is because the experts we were working with told us it would increase our chances of becoming parents. Many people were shocked. "I just assumed you didn't want kids," almost all of them said. None of them knew about the pain we'd been experiencing.

When more and more people started finding out about our struggles, more and more of them started reaching out - sharing their own. We were flabbergasted by how many people (some we knew quite well) had gone through similar things.

Almost all of us had been carrying these feelings around by ourselves when we we could have been sharing them with each other and helping each other work through them.

With that in mind, I'm going to start a Facebook page or group for people who have dealt with, or are dealing with these issues. If you have ideas for a name, please let me know. 

PS...Men are welcome. You are largely excluded from this narrative and you shouldn't be. 

https://www.facebook.com/DesMoinesRegister/posts/10155887541814579