Plans?!? What Plans?!?

Good.

Lord.

This week has not gone as planned.

At.

All.

What I envisioned... picking up a few little gifts for the hubs (despite my NO GIFTS pledge), Christmas gatherings (ALL OF THEM DELIGHTFUL), getting Christmas cards in the mail (SORT OF ON TIME), going to the gym (EVERY DAY), cleaning (EVERY ROOM), running miscellaneous errands (ALL OF THEM), scheduling various health appointments (ALL OF THEM FOR ALL OF US ALL YEAR), organizing photos (EVERY SINGLE SHOE BOX AND DOWNLOAD)...

What happened...my kid got sick (REALLY SICK), my husband got sick (REALLY SICK), I got sick (REALLY SICK).

So of course I've been freaking out about ALL OF THE EVERYTHING I WAS GOING TO GET DONE AND BE PERFECTLY PERFECT AND READY TO START THE SUPER TERRIFIC NEW YEAR....

And now I'm not.

Internal voice is screaming...AND NOW EVERYTHING IS RUINED!!!!

There are a couple of problems with my original plan.

First - it was totally unrealistic even if NONE of us had gotten sick. And that's kind of my problem. I tend to have unrealistic notions about lots of things, most of all about what I can (and moreover SHOULD) accomplish. So when I don't get all of those things done, I feel tremendous guilt. GUILT SUCKS. Especially unnecessary guilt.

Second - there was no room for joy or relaxation in that crazy to do list. An entire week off work and all I'd planned to do with it was TO DO TO DO TO DO TO DO TO DO. That sucks as much as guilt! Instead, I ended up getting a lot of snuggle time with my little boy who never sits still any more, and a lot of quiet time with my husband who is also not good at sitting still.

The TO DO list is still there. That's the beauty of it. It's not going anywhere and I can do many of those things whenever the hell I want. Or NEVER.